It's Not A Fairytale.

Sometimes I stop to wonder that if you didn’t leave if we would still be together because since you left we just grew apart and we’re still not as close as before we even dated but now it’s just awkward between us. Everything just changed me , it changed the way I love now I’m scared to the person I love how I actually feel about them because I don’t want the same thing to happen to me again , having my heart broken into a million pieces.

I still write about this because it made me hurt so much that it took a whole year to forget about the summer , the way you used to look at me but I knew I couldn’t forget because those moments meant so much to me and I knew I would miss everything about that summer and it’s been two years since all of this happened and I still remember all the memories that we shared together from that summer.

People say I should let go of the past but I have I just haven’t forgotten about all the times we shared with one another and it killed me inside when I found out you were dating one of my best friend’s , Yes I was mad at the both of them but I got over it then I started to hate him and when I told my other best friend that I hated him she told me ” you don’t hate him , you could never hate him ” but I told her that she was right also what was going on and she was there for me when I needed her the most but it just hurt me so bad that I thought I could never forgive him ever again but I did forgive him then when I thought it could get any worse is when I saw them together , they looked so happy together and that killed even more that I started to cry and I guess I’m not going to forget about me because he was my first love he’ll always be one important fact in my life and even though i moved on I still wonder if he remembers the time we spend together two years ago.

I realize that I shouldn’t hold on to things that hurt me because it will just bring more pain into my heart and soul in the end which is what I learned and also that not everyone gets to have a happy ending like in the fairytales that in reality has it’s turn look on the world and not everything will turn out the way we plan it to be.

I was so lost without you here with me as if I had nothing to live for but you and only you I thought it was going to last forever but I guess I was wrong sometimes when I close my eyes I can see every moment we had shared together even to this very day I never thought it would turn out the way it did but I never told you how I really felt about somethings like how we actually didn’t break up with words but by turning our backs to each other was a way of saying our good-byes to one another.

;; the past still hurts me deep inside ..

there's alot of things in my past that i miss and you're one of them you used to be my everything then you just let me down and broke my heart into a million pieces . :$ ♥

i thought i could never love again because i was too afraid that i would have my heart broken again until you showed me that there was nothing to be afraid of that it's only a part of life that we have to live through sometimes , but then i found somebody that i fell inlove with but i was too scared to show all my true feelings to you because i didn't know  you that you felt the same way about me then it all ended then i was once again heart broken. then the pain started all over again and i thought i could just act like it didn't bother me but the more i acted , the more it killed me inside , knowing that you did what you did to me , made me stronger then i ever was before.   

Young Love Never Lasts. ? ...

I’m starting to realize that when he looks at me he isn’t looking at my beauty , he’s looking deep into my soul something that most guy’s don’t do but i noticed that he’s different from all the other guy’s , he’s somebody you can tell anything to and he wont think of telling somebody else , someone who would actually say i love you too and actually mean it when he says it. I never thought i would meet somebody like him , someone i never thought of falling in love with until everything fell apart when he said he was leaving for four months to his country , we didn’t even say goodbye to each other , but while he was gone i always had this feeling inside me that something was missing and i realized that he was my missing puzzle piece all along. When he came back we just grew apart from each other like the four months we had spend together ment nothing at all to him anymore and that broke my heart into a million pieces and it took me a whole year to put all the pieces back together. Sometimes when i close my eyes i can still see all the moments we had shared with each other and i would still like him on and off again through out the year and it’s been two years since this happend and i still think about maybe if he didn’t leave that we might still be together now but i guess i’ll never know now but maybe if we never broke up the way we did just maybe i wouldn’t be afraid to fall in love with somebody again.alot of people say that young love never lasts but i don’t know if it’s true or not. :$ ?

;; * Dear Life.

;; * Dear Life.

I realize that the days go by faster and faster as well as my life is passing by me so fast that i don’t even notice it happening but when i do i think about it for awhile and i wonder if one day the world will be at peace but i’m just sitting at home doing nothing to help people because it’s the right thing to do for other’s , i just don’t wanna have my teenage years pass by me  , maybe i’m just growing up to fast ? but my life is crazy it’s full of drama which i hate because it doesn’t give me a chance to always be in a good mood but what i have to say to those people who start the problem is that if you don’t like me then why are you starting shit with me in the first place i just don’t understand that at all it’s just so stupid. I just can’t believe it i’m going to highschool next school year i’m so excited i just can’t wait but i’m also scared and nervous about going to highschool though , is that normal ?


but i still have the rest of grade eight to worry about right ? I keep imaging how graduation is going to be like i can’t wait for that as well. I have to try my best to keep my grades up so i actually get to go to highschool but i just can’t believe it though it seems like as if this is all a dream , that i’m dreaming that this year i’m graduating grade eight. wow it just doesn’t seem to be real to me , it’s just super important to me. i’m still not sure what i want to do with my life , i really enjoy writing i want to be an author but my parent’s think that’s just a little bit werid and stupid like common it’s what i wanna do.

;; * Your Imagination.

;; *  Your Imagination .

Don’t be afraid to be yourself around the person you like because if they don’t like the real you , and they like the fact you , their just falling for somebody that isn’t real it’s just the girl your trying to be from your imagination not the person you were born as , the person all your friend’s love and care about , if he doesn’t like the real you , it isn’t real love.

I Wonder ?

I Wonder what’s the reason for war ?
I Wonder why people are rude ?
I Wonder why people hurt the way they do ?
I Wonder if there will ever be world peace ?
I Wonder why parent’s don’t lets us do the stuff we want to do ?
I Wonder how it feels knowing nobody cares about you ?
I Wonder when the world will end ?
I Wonder why people love eachother but also hate eachother ?
I Wonder what the feeling of dying is like ?
I Wonder why i feel so alone in this world as if i’m the only one living in the world ?
I Wonder how big the universe is ?