It's Not A Fairytale.

Sometimes I stop to wonder that if you didn’t leave if we would still be together because since you left we just grew apart and we’re still not as close as before we even dated but now it’s just awkward between us. Everything just changed me , it changed the way I love now I’m scared to the person I love how I actually feel about them because I don’t want the same thing to happen to me again , having my heart broken into a million pieces.

I still write about this because it made me hurt so much that it took a whole year to forget about the summer , the way you used to look at me but I knew I couldn’t forget because those moments meant so much to me and I knew I would miss everything about that summer and it’s been two years since all of this happened and I still remember all the memories that we shared together from that summer.

People say I should let go of the past but I have I just haven’t forgotten about all the times we shared with one another and it killed me inside when I found out you were dating one of my best friend’s , Yes I was mad at the both of them but I got over it then I started to hate him and when I told my other best friend that I hated him she told me ” you don’t hate him , you could never hate him ” but I told her that she was right also what was going on and she was there for me when I needed her the most but it just hurt me so bad that I thought I could never forgive him ever again but I did forgive him then when I thought it could get any worse is when I saw them together , they looked so happy together and that killed even more that I started to cry and I guess I’m not going to forget about me because he was my first love he’ll always be one important fact in my life and even though i moved on I still wonder if he remembers the time we spend together two years ago.

I realize that I shouldn’t hold on to things that hurt me because it will just bring more pain into my heart and soul in the end which is what I learned and also that not everyone gets to have a happy ending like in the fairytales that in reality has it’s turn look on the world and not everything will turn out the way we plan it to be.

I was so lost without you here with me as if I had nothing to live for but you and only you I thought it was going to last forever but I guess I was wrong sometimes when I close my eyes I can see every moment we had shared together even to this very day I never thought it would turn out the way it did but I never told you how I really felt about somethings like how we actually didn’t break up with words but by turning our backs to each other was a way of saying our good-byes to one another.